javaviolet's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Danny Elfman Married? Really! Is Danny Elfman offically married to Bridget Fonda? I was trying to cure my bordom by searching for pictures of my idols at wireimage.com when I come across a picture with the couple. Now I have seen tons of pictures of them. But this one was different. I could see in that tiny picture that on his right hand there's a wedding band. They are offically married. Which actually depressed me out more... since in all those photos they are smiling, blissfully happy. Danny has turned happy. Which should be celebrated. I want him to be happy. But..he's sooo happy, and all smiles. To a depressed person, that makes me wanna crawl back into my dark, moody cave. And never come out again. Nothing more depressing then seeing others so fucking happy. I wish I was that. so deep down I'm really jealous of their happiness. Or anyone's really. 3 : 23pm - Oct. 30, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- depression in a bottle I'm starting to not feel any words that I say. They just come out randomly out of my mouth... and most never get finished. Deep down I think, it's cause no one listens to me. Everything now a days is so half assed. So half heartedly done. The random, fly by "I Love you's" seem distant and cold. Almost meaningless. Lately I have indulged myself into day dreaming, a childhood hobby. I began to wonder why I was doing it so much lately. Then I realized.. it's an escape. An escape from the harash realities of my everyday life. This would also explain the desire to want to sleep every minute of the day and lack of desire to do anything. Sometimes I wish there was something I could do about it all. Maybe something that I could do that could my situation better. Perhaps win the lotto? But.. then would that really make anything better?! Emotions and feelings would still stay the same.. even if money if thrown at it 3:43 pm - Oct. 30, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They've got me on some medication... "I don't need an education
Somebody get me out of here I never wanted to be junkie more in my life then I do right now. A junkie of something... pills.. drugs.. liqueor.. anything. Anything that will somehow filter out the all the drama in my life. All the pain. I just want to be lessen. I'm always being yelled at.. for things that are out of my control. I'm always being brought into situations I don't know what to do with. Then I ponder what I would take... What would be drug of choice? Diet pills... Caffiene pills... Maybe tranquilizers. I came to this conclusion : If something doesn't change in my life, I'm going to be a lost cause. A loser. A drain on society. Worst of all... I'll be what everyone told me that I was going be : NOTHING. 2:35 pm - Oct. 30, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I heart Coffee Cups I over at I Don't Think Anyone Ever Reads This and she was talking about her obessesion with dishes. And it got me thinking. I have coffee cup obessesion. I didn't realize it 'till now. I collect coffee cups. I have a ton of them running around the house. Coffee cups for me, scream "comfort". Is there anything more comforting then laying in bed, listening to the rain outside, while drinking a cup of coffee ? ( or tea... or hot chocolate.)Nothing else in this world has that same effect on me. When I reach for a certain mug, it's break time. Break time from the world, my parents, my problems... For 30 minutes.... an hour... I get my peace of mind back. A sense of forgotten sanity. 1:49 pm - Oct. 30, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of the world... In Flash! I'm never one for political humor. But I found a flash thing that is so funny. I got from Irony of Existence who stole from this guy and then... they told their friends...and their friends..
1:38 pm - Oct. 29, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wanna sex you up Doesn't anyone write erotica any more? I haven't read a good erotica tale in such a long time. The only person who I think that can get some what is Anne Rice. And my talented friend Andrea. ( I liked her story about Danny Elfman. I'm all over naughty tales about him. Hmm...) I find sometimes that "sex diaries" or what not, are more sexy then say, a book that you get at the local super market. The one with the picture of the guy, with huge muscles, and the girl wrapped around his body, in a wench dress. *Yawns* So very boring! I like my tales something straight outta Secretary.
So that leads me to a question : I wanna hear it... what turns you all on. Is it something simple like wearing a sexy dress... putting on high heels.. wearing no underware.. finding your man wearing no underware... Do you have any fetishes?.. Do you like girls or boys ( both) ?... What are some sexy things you dream about, but are too afraid to do? 8:53 pm - Oct. 28, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- October has been a Good Month for anything My dad is now at County Hospital. I swear, when it rains ,it pours. My father has a history of heart attack. And my mom said that they found him grabbing on to his chest. My brother threw him into the family station wagon, and drove that all too familiar road to Los angeles county Hospital. I know nothing at this point. All I know is my mom is worried. And my mom being worried is bad. Worrying turns to stress.. which can cause her brain to have a sezure, and it's important that doesn't happen. 8:41 pm - Oct. 28, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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